


Thinking Out Loud

by starrywrite



Category: Degrassi the Next Generation
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Drabble Collection, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Literal Sleeping Together, Love Confessions, Minor Character Death, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-14
Updated: 2015-03-04
Packaged: 2018-03-07 12:10:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3173400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starrywrite/pseuds/starrywrite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of drabbles about Zig Novak and Maya Matlin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Confess: one character confessing to the other

**Author's Note:**

> the first drabble in my Zaya Drabble collection! all prompts are taken from [this post](http://zigsmayas.tumblr.com/private/107929994812/tumblr_mxdj0ftjN51qcf2sz) \- for anyone who wanted a sneak peak about what's to come! and fyi there is no set update schedule for this; just whenever i feel inspired or want to write :)

Maya had no idea what to expect when she returned from her summer spent in Paris, but she certainly didn’t expect the cold shoulder from Zig. 

Granted, her blowing him off for three months wasn’t the best move on her part but the two of them ended on good terms, and now that she feels as though she’s in a good place, she was hoping that the two of them could pick up where they left off. Zig, on the other hand, clearly had other ideas as ignores and avoids her up until the Beach Bash Party at school. 

“Hey, stranger,” she says as she walks up to him. It’s an awkward reunion to say the least and certainly not the one Maya had in mind, but she can’t spend another day not talking to him - not when she has so much to say. 

Zig just looks at her, not saying anything for a moment. “You - you look good,” Maya stutters, taking in his new appearance for the first time. He looks nothing like the boy she had left behind, and she begins to worry that he isn’t the same _person_ she had left behind anymore.

“Yeah,” Zig says stiffly. “You too.”

Maya sighs. This isn’t going to be easy. “Do you think we could talk?” she asks him. “Somewhere quieter, maybe?” She’s surprised when he agrees so quickly and the two of them step out into the hall. The music from the party is but a muffled noise now, and Maya feels like she can actually think now. “So,” she starts.

“So,” he mimics her.

“I missed you,” she starts. 

Zig scoffs. “You sure have a funny way of showing it,” he tells her. 

“C’mon, Zig, just hear me out -”

“Maybe I don’t want to hear it, Maya,” he interrupts. Guilt gnaws at the pit of her stomach and anxiety eats at her chest. This definitely is not the reunion she had envisioned for Zig and herself, and as he turns to walk away she knows she’s going to have to act fast if she wants to salvage whatever they have between them. 

“Just,” Maya reaches out for Zig’s shoulder, grabbing it and forcing him to turn around and face her. “Talk to me!” she demands. 

“What is there to talk about?” he asks. 

“How about us, for starters?” Maya tells him. 

“Us?” Zig repeats. “Us? What ‘us’? There is no ‘us’ Maya! You gave up on ‘us’ when you decided to run off to France and spend your entire summer not even thinking about me!”

“I’m sorry, okay!” she exclaims, her voice cracking as she starts to yell at him. “I’m sorry that I ditched you, okay? I’m sorry I didn’t call or text you all summer, and I’m sorry I made you think you weren’t important enough for me, but that’s not true at all, Zig!”

“Oh, it’s not?” he asks, sarcasm dripping from his lips.

“Of course, it’s not!” Maya snaps. “I thought about you all summer, okay? God, don’t you have any idea how important you are to me?”

“No, Maya, I don’t,” Zig says. “Because you couldn’t even say goodbye to me!”

“I _couldn’t_!” she insists.

“Why not?”

“Because if I would’ve saw you, I wouldn’t have gotten on that plane!” she shouts, and Zig falls silent. “You don’t understand how badly I _needed_ to get out of Toronto, Zig,” she continues. “I just needed to get away from it all, and I needed to figure some things out and,” her voice begins to falter. “When I’m with you, I can’t think clearly.” 

Zig hesitates. “And why is that?” he asks. 

Maya runs her hands through her hair, not meeting his eyes. “Don’t make me say it,” she says softly.

“I need you to say it, Maya,” he tells her, and then he sighs. The two of them fall silent for a moment before Zig speaks up again. “Look, I know I don’t have a lot of money, and I know I can’t give you the nice things you deserve, and I know I’m not a lot of things you’ve gone for in the past. I know that. But,” he pauses.

“But?” Maya asks, her heart pounding in anticipation.

“But,” Zig starts. “But I would never leave you, Maya Matlin. I would never hurt you. And I will never stop loving you.” 

“You -” Maya stutters, the words getting caught in her throat for a moment. “You love me?” 

When Zig nods, she says, “Good,” and before Zig has a chance to question what she means, Maya closes the gap between them, placing her hands on either side of his face, and she kisses him. It’s not their first kiss, but it’s the first kiss that matters, and Maya breaks the kiss after a moment to exhales, “I love you too,” against Zig’s lips. 

His eyes widen. “You -”

“I love you,” she says. “I’m sorry I made you wait for me for so long, and I’m sorry it took me so long to realize it. But I love you. I’ll never stop loving you.” 

Zig grins, one of his hands moving up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, and he cups her face in his hand. “You were worth the wait,” he tells her and they kiss again.


	2. Kiss: their first kiss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ello friends!! here’s another zaya drabble B) i know we all already know the story of zig and maya’s first kiss but why not take a trip down memory lane and revisit those emotions heh.

There’s something about being on stage with Maya that’s just so _exhilarating_ ; she’s so in her element with a microphone in front of her and a guitar in her hands, and Zig can’t take his eyes off of her. It’s hypnotic, watching her perform, and she’s so beautiful. She’s radiant. And Zig Novak doesn’t use words like ‘radiant’ on a day to day basis, but Maya Matlin… she’s so radiant. 

God, he’s got it bad. He can try and pretend that he doesn’t have feelings for Maya, but he can only lie to himself for so long. He likes her. He really, really likes her. 

And apparently, everyone else likes Maya as well because the crowd goes wild when she finishes her song and the smile on her face is bigger than Zig’s ever seen it. They’re dismissed off stage and Zig feels dizzy with a post performance buzz.

“You were amazing!” he tells her as they walk backstage, and he means it; she was phenomenal up there. 

“ _We_ were amazing!” Maya tells him, still grinning from ear to ear. “Oh, thank you for doing this for me, Zig. It means so much.” 

He surprises her by throwing her arms around his shoulders and pulling him in for a tight hug. He lets out a little gasp, taken aback by this. He’s never hugged her before, and she gives him a little squeeze, and Zig never wants her to let go.

She does, though; they break the hug but her hands are still resting on his shoulders. And he looks at her, unable to tear his eyes off of her yet again, and before he knows it, he’s leaning in. She meets him halfway and their lips touch, and they’re _kissing_. Zig can’t believe they’re actually kissing right now. It’s all happened so fast that it almost doesn’t feel real, but he can taste her strawberry flavored lipgloss and he can feel her palms pressed against his arms, and this is real. _This is real,_ he thinks to himself when they both pull away for a moment and almost immediately he leans in to kiss her again. He’s been wanting to kiss Maya for ages now, and it’s not his first kiss - he’s kissed Tori dozens of times - but this kiss doesn’t even compare to any other. 

After a moment, however, Maya breaks the kiss, and she pushes herself away from him exclaiming, “No, oh my god!” she stands there in disbelief. “What did we just do?”

“I - I’m sorry,” Zig stutters, trying to gather his thoughts. His head is spinning and all he can think about is Maya and kissing Maya, and he starts to say, “Look, I know it’s crazy but -”

“But Tori,” Maya interrupts him. “Your girlfriend, my best friend!”

“I know but,” Zig reaches out to brush her hair behind his ear, but Maya’s hand goes up to stop him. 

“But Tori,” she repeats, lowering his hand, and honestly Tori is the last person on Zig’s mind right now. They both stand there in silence for a moment until they hear someone clear their throat, and Zig’s heart nearly stops because he thinks it’s Tori standing there, having witnessed everything that just happened. But it’s worse - it’s Maya’s older sister. 

“You ready to change into your interview gown?” she asks icily. 

“Uh, yeah. Yeah,” Maya says, hoping to appear nonchalant. “Thank you for helping me with the song,” she says to Zig, sounding formal and stiff. She shakes his hand, hoping that Katie won’t believe that their relationship briefly evolved from business to pleasure. 

Fireworks ignite inside of Zig’s body when Maya takes his hand. “Uh, yeah,” he mumbles and he walks off, not wanting to get in the middle of whatever’s about to go down between the sisters. It’s not exactly how he expected his first kiss with Maya Matlin to go, but nevertheless, his lips are still tingling.


	3. Hush: one character comforting the other (from fear or grief)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tbt to Cam's death ;/ (trigger warning for mentions of death) (ironically enough, i recently had two deaths in the family so this was very therapeutic for me to write, in a way)

_I will not cry._

That’s what Maya keeps telling herself, don’t cry. Because what is crying going to accomplish? What’s the point in crying and lighting candles and feeling sad about it? None of it is going to bring Cam back, so what’s the point? 

She locks herself in her room, closes the blinds and she lies in bed because her heart is just too heavy right now and she can’t get up. Wrapped herself up in her blankets, she closes her eyes and hopes to fall asleep because she just can’t deal with the world right now. She’s tired of everyone’s pitiful looks in her direction, tired of everyone telling her how sorry they are for her loss, tired of everyone pretending they give a damn when they barely even know her and Cam. She’s just so tired. 

But, she will not cry. She _will not_ cry. She isn’t going to turn into the grieving widow who throws herself into the plot after they lower Cam’s casket down six feet under. She isn’t going to turn into a complete and utter mess just because Cam is gone, because what would be the point in that? Screaming and crying and having a complete meltdown isn’t going to make her feel better and it sure as hell isn’t going to bring Cam back. So she isn’t going to cry. 

Her phone rings. She contemplates ignoring it because she doesn’t have the energy to deal with anyone today, but curiosity gets the best of her and she crawls out of her blanket cocoon to check the caller ID.

It’s Zig. 

Maya hesitates for a moment, but right before the last ring, she answers his call. She doesn’t say anything when she answers her phone. She doesn’t know what to say - she doesn’t have anything to say. 

“Maya?” Zig asks. “Hey, uh it’s me - Zig. Well, you probably already know that because of caller ID, and all that.” He chuckles a little, soft and breathless but it sounds forced and artificial. 

“Hey,” Maya manages to choke out after a moment. 

“Hey,” Zig says again, and then neither of them say anything for a moment. “I’m s -”

“Don’t,” Maya interrupts him before he can finish that sentence. “Don’t say it. I don’t want to hear it. “It’s harsh, she knows that, but she can’t hear one more person tell her that they’re sorry for her. And she especially can’t hear it from Zig.

“Okay,” he says. “Do you want some company?” 

“I don’t know,” Maya sighs a little. It’s almost hard for her to talk right now, the words are coming out slowly and almost forced. “I think I want to be alone.”

“Okay,” Zig says again and then he falls silent once again. “I kind of don’t know what to say,” he finally tells her. “I don’t even know why I called, honestly. I just… I think I just wanted to hear your voice. Make sure you were alright.”

“I’m -” Maya wants to say that she’s fine, that she’s okay, that it’s not a big deal. But she isn’t fine. She’s crushed. And her heart has been shattered into a million pieces. And everything just hurts so badly that she almost can’t breathe. She just wants so badly to be fine and okay, but she isn’t. She isn’t at all. “Thank you,” she chokes out. “For calling, it’s nice to know that someone cares.” 

“Don’t you forget it,” he says, and Maya actually manages a weak smile. “I wish I could do something for you,” he adds. “Is there anything you want?” 

Maya doesn’t say anything at first, and then she says, “Yesterday would be nice.” 

Zig remains quiet. Maya listens to the sound of him breathing through the phone and for some reason, it comforts her. Just knowing he’s there is comforting. The two of them stay on the phone for an hour, neither of them speaking, just listening to the sound of each other breathing and right now, all Maya really needs is a gentle reminder that another person she loves isn’t going to leave her. And even though he doesn’t say it - he doesn’t have to - she knows that Zig isn’t going anywhere.


	4. Peace: them spending a quiet moment together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry its taken me so long to post something guys!! i've literally been up to my ears in schoolwork and when im not doing schoolwork i'm too tired to do most things lo. also sorry this is SO short but i think its pretty cute nonetheless B) hope you enjoy!!

“Your hair smells like strawberries,” Zig murmurs softly to her, the blonde girl’s hair tickling his nose as she lies with her head rested on his chest. “I like strawberries.”

Maya’s cheeks tint pink and she turns her head, hiding her face in Zig’s shoulder. “You’re such a dope,” she teases him. 

Zig chuckles a little; it vibrates throughout his chest and Maya’s eyes flutter shut. She’s never felt more relaxed than she does right now, her body all but melting into Zig’s as they lay together in her bed. They have about two hours until her mother gets home from the doctors - she’s never been more thankful that her mother’s specialist was out of town. And speaking of thankful, she’s more than thankful that Zig’s arms are wrapped around her waist, holding her close, because she feels as though she could float away from now. She feels so peaceful, so content. Sure, she has a pile of homework with her name written on it - and nothing more - and sure, they’re running the risk of someone finding them and the both of them getting in more trouble than they could ever imagine, but she doesn’t care. She doesn’t care about anything except for Zig Novak, and his arms wrapped around her body making her feel safe, and his lips pressing into her hair every so often just because he can.

“Yeah,” he agrees, cutting into her thoughts. “But I’m your dope.” 

Maya smiles, the blush on her cheeks growing redder and redder, but she whispers to him, “Yeah, you are. My dope.” She likes the sound of that.


	5. Together: them spending their first night together (platonic, just sleeping)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HERE COMES THE FLUFF DO DO DO DO HERE COMES THE FLUFF AND I SAY ITS ALRIGHT B)

Maya checks the time on her phone; it’s been a little over an hour since her parents left for their journey up to visit her grandparents for the weekend, if they were going to turn around by now they surely would’ve called… right? Before she can talk herself out of it, she calls Zig. He answers on the third ring. “Hey,” she says, her voice surprisingly steady despite the fact that her heart is racing. “They’re gone.” 

_“Really? Cool,”_ Maya can practically see Zig’s smile and her heart skips a beat. _“Do you still want to do this?”_

“‘Course,” Maya replies, anxiously biting her nails as she speaks. “Yeah, of course.”

 _“You sound so sure of yourself,”_ Zig teases her, and Maya rolls her eyes despite the fact that he can’t see her.

“Just get your butt over here,” she tells him. “Before I do change my mind.” 

Zig chuckles a little, and yet again her heart skips another beat. At this rate, she’ll be lucky if she doesn’t have a heart attack before he arrives back home. _“Alright, babe, see you soon.”_

Their call ends and Maya sighs softly to herself as she hangs her phone up, her other hand still in her mouth as she bites on her nails. She has no idea why she’s so nervous about this; Zig has been sleeping in the room next door to her for months now, why is she so freaked out about tonight? It’s not as though this is the first time she and Zig have been left alone for the first time (it is). And it’s not as though this is the first time the two of them have planned to sleep together (it is). And it’s not as though she’s never slept with one of her boyfriends before (it is). 

Maya sighs again. It’s not as though she thinks that she and Zig are going to consummate their relationship tonight, because even though they’ve been best friends for a long time now, they’ve only been officially dating for a little while. She knows that Zig wouldn’t pressure her into doing something she wasn’t ready for. But still, there’s just something about knowing she and Zig have the entire house to themselves for a weekend is making her stomach flutter. 

Their plan was foolproof, for the most part; Zig had “made plans” to spend the weekend with Tiny while the Matlins went to go visit Maya’s grandparents. Then Maya bailed on their plans due to having a book report to work on - which she did, she just failed to mention that it wasn’t due until the end of the month. After some back and forth with her parents, they finally agreed to let her stay home alone for the weekend. And now here she is, awaiting for Zig’s arrival back to the Matlin’s home so the two of them could have a secret rendezvous together for the next two and a half days. It would be great - as long as Maya kept her cool and stopped freaking out about nothing. 

“Honey, I’m home!” Zig’s voice interrupts the silence and Maya nearly jumps out of her skin. “Sorry,” Zig laughs out an apology and greets her with a kiss. 

“S’okay,” Maya murmurs against his lips and kisses him once again, feeling her nerves melt away. She can feel herself relaxing already. “So,” she smiles at him. “Wanna watch a movie? I already ordered a pizza.”

Zig reaches for her hand and laces their fingers together. “That sounds perfect,” he says. “But wait, shouldn’t you get started on your book report?” Maya laughs and playfully slaps his shoulder, and he retaliates by tickling her, ignoring her squeals of laughter as he grabs her and hugs her, kissing her once again. 

***

Eventually, the two of them run out of pizza to eat and movies to watch, and Maya and Zig retire to her room for the evening. “You sure you’re okay with this?” Zig asks, coming in from his room after having changed into his pajamas and he takes a seat on the edge of her bed. “I can sleep in my room if you want.”

“No, no, it’s fine,” Maya tells him. Surprisingly, all of her anxieties from before have gone away now and she feels truly relaxed with Zig. Maybe it’s because she’s too tired to care about spending the night with him, or maybe it’s because she’s realized she really doesn’t have anything to be afraid of. Regardless, she lies down, pulling her covers up to her chest and looks up at Zig. “Zig, really,” she says with a small smile. “It’s fine.”

Zig briefly hesitates but lies down next to her, settling himself under the covers and he wraps his arms around her, pulling her in close to him. Maya rests her head on his chest and sighs contently, her eyes drifting shut. 

“Your feet are freezing,” Zig says, breaking the silence and Maya giggles.

“Sorry,” she mumbles with a smile. 

Zig kisses the top of her head. “I’ll learn to cope with it, I guess,” he tells her. “Only for you though.” Maya giggles again and she presses a kiss to Zig’s shoulder before closing her eyes and sighing again, feeling more at home than ever in Zig’s arms. 

They just sleep together, their first night together spent in the most innocent way it could, but Maya wouldn’t trade a night like this for anything in the world.


End file.
